How Does Parental Conflict Affect Children?

When parents are in conflict, children are greatly affected. While many parents think that they are keeping the conflict away from their children, they are often sadly mistaken. Even if parents try not to fight in front of their children, the children notice tension in the home. Parents who are experiencing conflict need to understand that this tension has a profound effect on their children, causing many problems, such as behavior and academic difficulties.

Children whose parents are in conflict often do poorly in school. Children blame themselves for parental conflict, mainly because they do not have the maturity to realize that the parents are the ones who create and maintain the conflict. Many children feel as though they have done something wrong to create the conflict, and as a result they have a difficult time concentrating in school. Even conflicts that seem mild to the parents have a tremendous impact on children, because they do not have the ability to discern various levels of conflict. Similarly, conflicts between parents can cause children to act out among their peers. This is also a result of the guilt the child feels, as well as the increasing frustration a child experiences in a home that is full of parental tension.

Children whose parents are continually in conflict soon begin to speak ill of one parent when around the other. For instance, when the child is around the father, he may tell bad stories about mom, and visa versa. This happens because the child is trying to gain the favor of the parent he is with. It does not mean the child actually feels negativity toward the other parent. However, it does provide fodder for the conflict, which continues to escalate, and continues to harm the child.

In addition to these problems, children who are living with parents who are in conflict all of the time often experience health problems. Children whose parents are fighting do not sleep as well as children in stable homes, and this affects their overall health. If the tension continues for a long time, children lose even more sleep, and they begin to get sick and run down. Also, if the conflict ceases, the negative impact continues. Research indicates that the anxiety and physical problems experienced by children who saw high levels of conflict between their parents can continue for at least a year. For this reason, parents need to work hard to keep their homes happy and harmonious. Parents who disagree need to make sure that they do so behind closed doors where their children cannot hear. Finally, parents should make sure that they apologize to each other in front of their children if conflicts arise. This will help the children to avoid the negative impacts of living with parental conflict.